At one point in his writing career, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle got so sick of his star character, the inimitable Sherlock Holmes, that he killed the poor guy off. The short story “The Final Problem” had Holmes fighting his arch-enemy, Professor Moriarty, on the edge of the treacherous Reichenbach Falls and both men falling to their apparent deaths. Fans were, to say the least, displeased. There’s even a story that a woman screamed “Murderer!” at him on the street. So, to keep the cash flow going, Doyle brought Holmes back, in “The Adventure of the Empty House.” This is a great example of retroactive continuity – the “retcon”.
Basically, if you find the plot of an established story going in a different direction, or a character is developing in ways that you’re less than impressed with, it could be time for a retcon. There are, naturally, good and bad ways to go about this. I’ve seen both and, while I can’t exactly site specific examples off the top of my head, being somewhat pressed for time, here’s a quick paragraph of “don’t” followed by one full of “do”.
The very worse retcons are either an Ass Pull or a deus ex machina. If you bring in a new story element without preamble or your character turns around to move in their new direction with no explanation, it’ll likely be seen as the result of one of these and your readers may cry foul. While it’s entirely possible to do these things right, sloppy writing or eagerness to explore a new story idea can lead it to going wrong.
Doing a retcon right involves some forethought. One of the nice things about starting a tale as late as possible (one of those bits of advice I harp on every chance I get, even with myself) is that you can reference the things that happened before the tale began to give your retcon some plausibility. And the more extensive the universe in which you work, the more elements you can reference or bring in.
Basically what it boils down to is being prepared. If you can see where you want your work to go, and it’s not heading that way as it’s been written, there’s always time to correct its course. And the more time you take preparing for the correction, the better the end result will be and the more your readers will love the work for it.
There are lots of stories out there with vampires in, but few keep me coming back for more. I only made it through the first few chapters of Twilight. I haven’t touched anything related to the Cirque du Freak. And as much as I think that the Coppola/Oldman Dracula from 1992 is something of an ur-text for how vampires should be portrayed, I only watch it every couple of years.
True Blood is different. It’s not just the fact that it’s doled out to us episodically or that it’s on HBO, if you know what I mean. I could point to broad things like “scary good writing” or “excellent production values” (the occasional botched special effect aside) but I think there’s more to it. Let’s sink our fangs in a bit deeper.
Realistic Relationships
Now, obviously, I’m not referring to a relationship between a vampire and a girl who might be part fairy as ‘realistic’. What I mean is, the way Sookie and Bill deal with one another, the trials they face and the problems that occur strikes me as not only realistic, but mature.
These are two individuals who care very deeply for one another. And unlike some of the other manifestations of such a relationship that are out there, these two not only go to great lengths in an attempt to secure each others’ happiness, they also communicate their feelings to one another to the best of their ability. Sometimes the words come out all wrong, and sometimes Bill loses his mind from starvation and nearly kills Sookie, but this leads me to the thing that really underscores the power of this relationship.
They want to work together to make the relationship a lasting one, because they love each other that much. Even when Sookie is so mad at Bill she could spit nails, to the point of pushing him away, it’s clear she still feels every bit as intensely now as she did when she first met him. And Bill would step aside to let Sookie be with someone who could give her children and not drag her into the blood-drenched world of his kind, because he loves her deeply and cares more about her happiness than just about anything else. It’s a nuanced and well-developed relationship that continues to be realistic in its portrayal of those in the real world, rather than becoming a parody or worse, some form of moralizing. I’m looking at you, Ms. Meyer.
Positive, Deep Characters
Let’s face it. “God hates fangs” is one letter away from being a very real and very disturbing messages some churches love to propagate. True Blood is something of an Aesop (albeit a broken one) for many minorities that are discriminated against. A lot of fiction out there prefers to play this discrimination or stereotype for laughs rather than give us a positive view of what these people are really like. For example, while there is some good stuff in The Birdcage, for the most part it’s a madcap comedy. True Blood went in a different direction than comedic representation from the very first episode, with Lafayette.
In the Southern Vampire Diaries, Lafayette’s something of a minor character. In the television series, he’s come to play a pretty important role in the goings-on. He’s unashamed of who he is, unafraid to put a few extra touches on himself to look gorgeous and definitely willing to throw punches at folk who have a problem with him being who he is. Now, the fact that he’s a drug dealer and occasionally puts on webcam shows of himself aren’t terribly positive aspects of the character, but he’s made it clear that he cares more about the people in his life – his cousin Tara, Sookie, his mother, etc – than any cash he might make. He’s a pretty stand-up guy, when you get right down to it, and he’s always around to talk sense into folk when they’re being dumb.
Most of the characters show this sort of depth, but… not all of them are positive.
Compelling Villains
With the likes of Eric and Russell Edgington running around, it’s clear that True Blood isn’t interested in making their villains one-dimensional cackling characters in the mold of Snidely Whiplash. As the show progresses, the raising of the stakes comes with more interesting and difficult to predict antagonists. Neither of the affecting forces in the second season, Maryann or the Fellowship of the Sun, can really hold a candle to Russell Edgington. What will it mean, I wonder, if Eric actually manages to take Russell down? Will that make Eric, by default, the biggest vampire bad on the block?
It’s not even clear if Eric is a villain, per se. While he was clearly started as something of an antagonist towards Bill and Sookie’s idea of a quiet life together, he’s shifted into more of a gray area. He’s a bastard, sure, and manipulates people around him without much thought outside of himself most of the time. But he does care about things – Godric, Pam, avenging his mortal family who’ve been dead over a thousand years – and more than once shows that under the quiet, confident smirks and deadpan remarks is a character every bit as deep and complex as the protagonists. Whichever side of the fence Eric ends up on, be it that of our heroes or that of himself first and foremost, I’m definitely a fan.
Those are just a few reasons True Blood works as a tale with vampires in, and why people like me are tuning in every week. Of course, having vampires that look like this doesn’t hurt, either:
Unfortunately I won’t be able to see tonight’s episode until around Wednesday. Hopefully I can avoid spoilers, but I am dying to know what happens after Mr. Edgington’s little telecast.
It seems that lately I’ve been rediscovering old habits. First, it was World of Warcraft. Now, my father has me playing Magic: The Gathering again.
I first started playing back in high school. This was around the time the expansion Legends came out. I collected cards steadily until after my years at Bloomsburg. Then, in a moment which I still don’t quite comprehend, I gave them away to someone I haven’t seen in years.
Can’t even remember their name, honestly.
Anyway, a few years ago when I moved down to Philly, Paul Bagosy lured me back in. The Time Spiral block had just begun, and along with promising new and interesting ways to play with time, the set also brought back old favorites in a “timeshifted” form. We’d meet at the Roundtable down in Conshohoken to buy boosters, trade cards, even play in tournaments. Those were good times.
The Roundtable has since closed, an event that still makes me sad. I now live in Lansdale, quite a bit away from Paul. But I’ve held on to my cards. And my father has been teaching my niece some of the nuances of the game and invited me to come play as well.
Now, I’m not buying more boosters. I simply don’t have the extraneous cash. And if I did, I’d be buying Starcraft 2 and putting down pre-orders for Cataclysm. No, I have to build decks just with the cards I have. Thankfully, that year or so of binging on the game has left me some powerful and interesting alternatives. It’s something of a challenge, actually, to go through my “vault” of cards and put something together that’s both fun to play and stands a chance of winning a duel.
Here are the three decks I’ve assembled, or re-assembled, so far.
Reanimator: This is a deck built around Teneb, the Harvester. The idea is to have big creature cards that I discard from my hand, only to have the big dragon, Dread Return or Resurrection bring them into play. Creatures in this deck, quite simply, don’t stay dead. Greenseekers keep the mana flowing while Undertakers do some of the other reanimating cards’ heavy lifting, and both put fodder for the big three feature cards into the graveyard from my hand. It’s needed a couple tweaks to streamline its performance, but so far it’s doing okay. It’s always nice to not only have the option of casting a big creature for less than its normal casting cost, but also to snag an opponent’s creature from their graveyard.
Sliver Legion:Exactly what it says on the tin. There are no creatures but slivers in this deck. Rainbow decks can be difficult to manage, but Gemhide Slivers help fix any mana problems and Homing Slivers fetch anything I need from my library – my Sedge Sliver for example – for a mere 3 mana. Give it a few turns, and suddenly every creature I field is flying, regenerating, gives me life when it deals damage and has double-strike. It’s pretty fast, to boot, which is good considering how much my dad likes burn decks.
Chronomancy: I’ve dreamed of this deck since I first got into Time Spiral. My girl there, Jhoira of the Ghitu, is something of an inspiration, since the deck is built around controlling the game through suspended cards – Arc Blade, Chronomantic Escape and Reality Strobe. A couple Paradox Hazes to give me extra upkeeps, Timebugs and Rift Elementals for counter control, and a few different answers to creatures and spells allow me to keep an opponent off-guard before I break out the big guns. And if said guns are too expensive for me to bring out because of their mana cost (“hardcasting”)? Jhoira’s ability gives them suspension, and puts them in the dugout eager to come into play, for 2 mana. I think this one’s really going to annoy some people. And I slipped Walk the Aeons in there for good measure.
Who else out there is playing Magic? Where do you play and what sort of decks do you run? Has it been a while for you since you’ve played? And if you want me to post the actual lists for any of these decks, let me know. No secrets between you and me, Internets.
You should never be afraid to seize an opportunity when it appears. The next big idea that changes your life may come out of somebody else being a dick. You may walk into a room without any intention of meeting somebody new, and the next thing you know you’re taking wedding vows. It’s the old adage of never looking a gift horse in the mouth. So with that in mind, here’s a review of a movie I found by the side of the road.
From Paris with Love begins by introducing us to James Reece, an intelligent and methodical assistant to the American ambassador to France. He’s got a cushy apartment, a beautiful girlfriend, the works. However, he’s also a low-level field operative for the CIA, which is what he’s really passionate about. He’s just itching for his chance to prove himself and be a real boy agent, but the assignment his handlers give him doesn’t just involve a dangerous plot undertaken by some mysterious terrorists to… do something… but an equally dangerous partner: sarcastic, trigger-happy, go-for-broke professional crazy gunman Charlie Wax.
Charlie Wax, or at the very least John Travolta, tries pretty damn hard to save this movie. He provides a lot of the guilty-pleasure charm audiences might get from seeing a complete douchebag be the hero of the story. And pairing him up with Johnathan Rhys-Meyers’ somewhat officious and eager-to-please Reece seems like the stuff of buddy-cop movie legends. But where Sherlock Holmes got it right in making the buddies equals, Reece is pretty much the straight man and punching bag for Wax’s antics. It’s completely lopsided, with Travolta swiping most of this movie away from pretty much everybody else in it. And it isn’t like Travolta is so much better than everybody else: he’s just good enough to be mostly watchable while everybody around him struggles to be mediocre.
Label on can: May contain bullets. Label on Travolta: May contain ham.
Part of the reason a movie like Flash Gordon remains such a fan favorite is because there’s a whole lot of ham in it. Same goes for a few of the Star Trek films, including the latest one. And John Travolta’s definitely hamming things up here. In fact, rumors abound that Charlie Wax is hammy even by the standards of Travolta, and this is the gentleman responsible for the decidedly unsafe-for-vegetarians-and-Xenu-loyalists Battlefield Earth. But I was willing to overlook that, and the fact that he smuggled his gun Mrs. Jones into France in a rather improbable manner, because it seemed to be going in a relatively fun direction. It was after Wax asked for a ‘royale with cheese’ that I realized what was bothering me about From Paris With Love.
This is a shameless action cash-in flick. Like the beefy, roided-out, too-dumb-to-live juggernaut of this years’ summer, The Expendables, From Paris With Love is pandering to the folks heading to the movie theater to get something relatively bland and familiar. Thankfully, it was only in theaters for 5 weeks, and in DVD sales it came in behind Shutter Island. But its existence is still kind of sad. It’s cookie-cutter action scenes, lackluster dialog and flimsy premise combine to make it a cavalcade of mediocrity. I couldn’t even bring myself to say I hated this movie, it just kind of made me nauseous.
“Ready to drop this bomb on the box office when you are, pretty boy.
The disc I found stopped working about halfway through the movie. “Good,” I said to myself, “I can stop watching this because I know how it ends.” Reece will discover his idyllic Parisian life was actually more dangerous than he thought it was, he’ll have to do something like kill his boss or try to talk his girlfriend out of being evil, and he’ll end up being Wax’s partner at the end in such a way that’ll promise a sequel. Looking at plot synopses on the Internets I can see I wasn’t far off my prediction. I should’ve written it down and sealed it in an envelope. In any event, there really isn’t much more to say about this lackluster, tasteless and pandering waste of time.
From Paris With Love was co-written by Luc Besson, the genius behind The Fifth Element and Leon (or The Professional if you prefer). Its director was Pierre Morel, who brought us the surprisingly good Taken. What the hell happened, guys? How did your writing and directing chops come together to make something less than fantastic? I don’t know. In a way, I don’t think I want to. It probably involves wine, baguettes and at least one very unfortunate mime.
I realize this week’s review is a bit short and I apologize for that, but even if the DVD I rescued from the sidewalk hadn’t crapped out, there wouldn’t be much more to say. Even reviewing From Paris with Love, like watching the movie itself, is wasting your time, and you really should be doing something better with yourself. Like going to see Inception. Or listening to the Classholes Podcast. Or playing with a stray dog. Or putting Michael Bay through a wood chipper.
Josh Loomis can’t always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it’s unclear if this week’s film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain… IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.
Bad habits. We all have some. Leaving our muddy shoes on when we walk across a carpet. Letting dishes pile up before washing them. Picking scabs, or picking noses. We have good habits, too, but they always seem to fade into the background while bad habits persist, even when we’re not fully aware of executing them.
We learned these behaviors, through. Nobody emerges from the womb sticking a finger up their nose. Believe it or not, we practiced our bad behaviors even if it was due to sitting around bored in the first grade. What this means, ultimately, is that we need to practice our good habits as well, provided we want to keep them.
There’s a reason I blog every day. Even if I wake up in the morning with no idea as to what is going to be up in this space around lunchtime, I know I’m going to blog. Other than trying to drum up interest in my writing and demonstrate what meager skills I’ve acquired for telling stories, as well as pointing out how others are doing it at least once a week, I maintain this schedule for the simple reason I told myself I should.
The fact of the matter is that everybody burns out from time to time. Everybody gets smacked upside the head with the notion that too much has been done lately. The gas tank runs dry, the batteries lose their charge, you’ve given away your last spoon – pick your metaphor. Eventually the energy will return but in the meantime, the temptation is to avoid doing that which drove you to lethargy in the first place.
For a writer, that means avoiding writing. I know a few writers who sometimes would definitely rather not write. They get tired of struggling with their plot points, the blood of their darlings is clogging the drains and as much as rejections show they’re working their asses off to get somewhere with naught but a pen and a dream, rejection still sucks. Video games, movies, walks in the park, hookers and blow – none of these things require the burning of lean tissue chunks or 100% commitment.
Yet that commitment still exists. Or at least it should, in my opinion. Even in small ways, a writer should always be writing. Musicians practice day in and day out to get better. Professional fighters beat the crap out of inanimate objects, hopefully in a gym setting. Programmers lift the hood on their favorite games and websites to uncover new techniques and practice those things themselves. Writing’s no different.
You have to commit to making it a habit.
If you can get into a habit of writing, even if it’s just a pithy blog post like this one, you’re staying in the practice of writing. The skills you’ve built aren’t getting worn down by time and neglect. Then, when the tides of inspiration wash back in or you get that surge of energy you need to push through whatever obstacle was keeping you from finishing that paragraph, that chapter, that scene, that story, your skills are right there, more of an unconscious intellectual muscle memory than a conscious procedural chore. You can let the words flow. You can put letters onto the page. Even if, upon reflection, they aren’t the best words for the situation, they’re there, you put them there, and they’re fewer words you have to conquer to get where you want to go.
Moreover, the more you edit your work, rearranging words for better structure, trimming fat and streamlining flow, the more future writing will fit the sort of mold that editors and audiences are looking for. The more you reach for Strunk & White, the more their lessons will stick in your head. It’ll be conscious, at first, but the more one practices a behavior, the more instinctual it becomes, even if it’s a bad one.
Practice your good habits. Commit to making them unconscious. And let the words flow. Even if it’s just into a blog.
