Dear Windows,

You and I are done personally.

Professionally we can still work together. It’s not like I have a choice in that. And I’ll still know my way around in you so that people can call me up for tech support at odd hours of the day and night. Because, you know, that’s what happens when you work with or even claim to know computers. Suddenly you’re everybody’s tech support hotline.

But at home? I’m sorry, but I shouldn’t need to jump through a series of flaming hoops to prove I haven’t stolen anything from you. And anyway, what would be the point? There’s no reason for me to try and pull a fast one on you when a perfectly good operating system is available for free that not only does everything you do, but provides me with all sorts of granular control over aspects of its appearance, operation and technical workings.

That’s right. I’m leaving you for Ubuntu.

Specifically, the Maverick Meerkat. How does that nickname not have appeal? “Maverick Meerkat.” It’s like Timon ditched the big boar, found a Punisher t-shirt his size and decided to start meting out his own form of jungle justice. Or took up flying fighter jets. In any event, with the way it’s up and running on my desktop I really have no reason to go back to you.

Sure, some kinks need to be ironed out in the way certain games and applications work. And I’ll need to find a good Linux-based video editing suite if I ever want to do another video version of IT CAME FROM NETFLX! but this is a small price to pay. That is to say, it costs me nothing financially. And after I finish backing everything up, I’ve half a mind to get the latest Xubuntu build on a flash drive and reformat the laptop again. Clean up some things. Get everything running more smoothly.

I’d say I’m sorry it had to end this way, Windows, but let’s face it… I’m not.

At least you still have my wife’s computer.

For now.