But here I am! I made it. I’m safe and sound, whole and unharmed. I made it across the country, some mishaps and hiccups aside, and I’ve survived the first couple weeks, with a few fresh scars to remind me that change is never easy, and people are who they are.
New beginnings are hard. It’s easier when you have momentum behind you to keep moving forward. But when you stop everything to make a major change, getting back into the swing of things is significantly more difficult.
I’m looking to get back onto a regular schedule, and step things up in other ways besides. This site, this brand of mine, needs to be expanded and promoted. My work is worth reading, worth seeing – I need to remind myself of that, and get other people to believe it, too.
So stay tuned! It’s going to get interesting around these parts.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Philadelphia. There will always be a piece of me out here on the east coast of the United States. But I have spent years, close to a decade now, kicking around the suburbs north of the city trying to find the right niche. Most of the time I’ve just been happy to be employed and keep a roof over my head. But over the last couple years, the feeling has grown that I am stagnating. And stagnation leads to frustration and loneliness, two emotions that I have a great deal of difficulty controlling.
I don’t want to take anything away from the people I’ve lived with and near since I moved back here from the western part of the state. There are people who have been instrumental in helping me keep my head above water, friends that have helped me see my potential, and individuals who have been behind me no matter what. I’ll never be able to repay the debt I owe to all of you, and I’m not going to forget you when I leave.
But I will be leaving. I’m moving to Seattle in August.
I believe that change is good for the soul. I have spent most of the aforementioned decade not changing all that much. I’ve been focused mostly on immediate concerns and the requirements and desires of others. My family would be the first to say that for years I’ve struggled with a ‘martyr complex’, often putting aside what I’m doing or what I want to try and make things better for other people. I haven’t been believing in myself as much as I’ve believed in the lives and companies to which I’ve contributed. Standing up for myself is something that does not come as easily to me as it should. Fighting for something I want, that I truly believe in for my own sake, tends to get filed away in my head as ‘selfish’ and thus a negative thing. However, I’ve come to learn that if I want to make any headway in this life, if I want to improve where I am and work towards the goals I have in mind for myself, I have to be selfish. I have to stand up for those things. I have to grow, and change, and move.
Why Seattle, you might ask?
The opportunities for me to write as my profession are better. The job market in general is an improvement. The saturation of friends is staggering. I’ll be closer to more game developers, who may be looking for writers. The mountains are lovely. The ocean is beautiful. I have walked its streets, and felt more at home than I ever have in Philadelphia. The coffee, the food, the events, the music – I could go on.
I’m posting a countdown here. It’s the approximate time at which my father and I will hit the road together.
I’m in Seattle for the next week and half. Posts may be somewhat sporadic as I did not have the wherewithal before I left to ask folks for guest entries. I’m pretty well prepared in every other aspect of the trip, though! So I guess I can’t complain much.
I will see what I can do about Flash Fiction for tomorrow, and a review of Kick-Ass 2 should be up Wednesday. After that, it’s PAX Prime. I expect to be busy as hell, dead on my feet, pulled in seventeen different directions, and loving every single second of it.
